


You Took My Heart But Never Gave It Back

by Gerdesichh



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Babies, Bottom Daryl Dixon, Cuddling & Snuggling, Flashbacks, Happy Ending, High School, Horseback Riding, Kissing, M/M, Men Crying, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Top Rick Grimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:25:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11381100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gerdesichh/pseuds/Gerdesichh
Summary: After his divorce with Lori, Rick takes his son on a long weekend father son trip to a horse ranch. There Rick discovers old friends and a past lover. His high school sweet heart Daryl Dixon works there, and Rick has never got over his high school lover.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to give a big thank you to Marooncamaro for betaing this for me!! She is awesome!! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this! I would to hear what y'all think!!

The divorce with Lori was something Rick didn't want at first. Waking after after being shot to find that his wife and his best friend were screwing around while he was in a coma was something he could never get over. Rick tried, he really did, he went to counseling with her, he tried this and that but in the end he couldn't get past the fact that he no longer trusted her anymore. 

Trust was a big thing for Rick and no matter how much Lori pleaded and apologized and no matter how Rick tried to look past her unfaithfulness, it wasn't enough to save their marriage, and deep down Rick knew that his marriage was doomed from day one because a long long time ago someone stole his heart and he never quite got that back.

Rick didn't see the time spent with Lori as a waste. They've had lots of good times throughout the years and not to mention she gave to him a son which another reason he wanted to save the marriage so badly, for Carl. So Carl didn't have to grow up in a broken home, it wasn't fair for him that he had to suffer for the mistakes they made as adults. Rick’s mistake for settling for someone he didn't truly love and letting his true love go, and Lori’s for sleeping with his best friend while he was in a coma after being shot. 

So nearly three months after waking up Rick had filed for divorce and Lori didn't fight it because she wanted to be with Shane and maybe deep down Lori knew Rick wasn't her one true love. So they parted ways without a messy divorce, settling on splitting their time with Carl evenly and Rick was happy for that. If they couldn't get along while married, at least Carl would have two divorced parents who could get along, he deserved that much.

As much as Rick thought he'd be heartbroken over the divorce he was surprised when it barely made him upset. He felt more betrayed than anything but once the smoke settled he could start to see the good that would come out of this. So when Rick would start to feel lonely he'd think about of the positive sides of the divorce. Some may say there were no positives to a divorce, especially in the little town they came from, but Rick focused on those good points like not having to worry about Lori going back to Shane, no more burnt pancakes, no more constant nagging about him not talking to her enough, and he could finally reconnect with some of his old friends.

All through school Rick kept a close knit group of friends and the only person he kept in touch with after marrying Lori was Shane, but that was only because he was his partner on the force. He put the rest of his friends on the back burner for Lori to be the husband she always wanted. Now without her dictating what Rick did and when Rick was free to try to reconnect to some of his old friends, which is how Rick found that one Hershel Greene now owned a horse ranch allowing guest to sleep, eat and ride on the property. 

 

Hershel was father to Maggie Greene, one of his closest friends back in the day other than Shane. Rick called and booked a weekend away for him and Carl in hopes of relaxing some before having to return to work and spending some much needed time with Carl. He also hoped that Hersel could help give him some info on Maggie so he could get a hold of her. 

Hershel's ranch was only an hour and half away from Rick's small town but Carl fall asleep 30 minutes into the ride, but that was okay because Rick was enjoying the scenery as his Ford pick up cruised along through the back roads of Georgia. The scenery was beautiful and Rick was content to let his mind wander as he drove along. There were a few things that his mind kept going back to and one of those things was work. It had only been 5 months since the shooting and after the coma and the whole Lori ordeal Rick was getting ready to go back to work. His doctor and physical therapist said he was healing very well and that if he continues with PT he'd be able to go back to work at the end of month six. 

Rick was looking forward to getting back to work even though he'd be stuck at the desk for a few months. At least it would keep his mind busy, anything is better than having your brain constantly remind you of your ex lover who broke your heart so bad that it still hurt to this day. Rick thinking about his high school sweetheart wasn't a new thing, only difference between then and now is that he doesn't feel like he's being disloyal to Lori. His high school lover, his first true love, the man that had his heart, Daryl Dixon was the completely opposite of Rick. 

Daryl was extremely shy where Rick was outgoing and friendly to everyone, Daryl was quiet and didn't speak much and Rick was talkative enough for the both of them, and Daryl was tough and rough looking as to Rick who was nothing but soft curls and baby blues. The thing about Daryl though was that he came from such a violent home but yet he was still so caring and gentle. Sure his temper was nothing to mess with, but given the right moment Daryl was the sweetest most loving boy ever and that's what made Rick fall in love with him at the very start. 

Rick was young when he first realized that he had a crush on the school's bad boy Daryl Dixon, but the pair started as friends. Rick, Daryl, Shane, Maggie and Carol were all good friends since elementary school and it was at the end of middle school when Rick realized his crush on the older boy and it was the end of freshmen year of high school when Rick had the balls to tell Daryl how he felt. Things quickly fell into place after that and the young couple stayed together all through high school and up until Rick went to the police academy, and that's how Daryl broke Ricks heart.

It was a long weekend for Rick and he came home only to find that Daryl didn't want anything to do with him, called him a good for nothing pig and never spoke to him again. The love and connection the two shared seemed to be undeniable and unbreakable but it got broken and Rick never managed to let go. Even after all these years there was still a small piece of him that missed Daryl so bad it would hurt. 

It's only when Rick drives past a field of horses that makes him smile a bit. Daryl always loved animals especially horses. They would spend way too much time at the Greene farm in the barn. There was no reason for horses to remind Rick Grimes of Daryl Dixon after 15 plus years, but here he was smiling like an idiot about the thought of his past love riding a horse. It was safe to say that yes, Rick did need this weekend away with Carl. 

Rick pulled into an empty space outside a row of connected cabins cutting the engine while shaking Carl awake. 

“Carl son, we're here,” Rick said giving his son a gentle shake of the shoulder. Carl grumbled in his sleep before pulling open his heavy eyelids. 

“Already?” The ten year old asked rubbing the sleep out of his eye. 

“Yea buddy, let's go get checked in huh?” Rick said pulling the truck door open. 

“Do you think we’ll get to ride the horses today, dad?” Carl asked, suddenly fully awake walking around the truck to meet his father at the front of the vehicle. 

“Not sure let's go find out” Rick said slinging an arm around Carl's shoulder walking toward the main office. 

Sitting behind an old wooden worn down desk was a smiling older lady. She wore a flower printed dressed with her dirty blonde pulled into a sloppy ponytail. “Afternoon y'all, checking in?” She asked with a bit of a thicker southern drawl and a sweet smile.

“Yes ma'am,” Rick said with a nod of his head. 

“Don't be silly son, none of that ma’am stuff. You can call me Patricia,” she said getting to her feet. “Now let me guess?” Patricia said turning her back to the pair, digging through some files. “Rick Grimes and son,” She said turning around with his reservation in her hands. 

Rick smiled brightly at her pulling Carl in for a quick one arm hug,  
“That would be us” He replied.

“Okay great, looks like Hershel put you guys in cabin 9, that's at the end of the line and dinner is served at 6pm and a warning bell for dinner will be rung at 5:30. Tomorrow morning breakfast is served at 8am and a warning bell goes off at 7:30 then. If either of you need lessons the lessons are after breakfast. Any questions?” She asked handing over the cabin keys.

“I think we are all set, Patricia. Thank you” Rick said reaching for the keys with a genuine smile.  
With that Rick and Carl set off for their cabin. 

“Can we go to the lake once we are done?” Carl asked. Rick hauled his bag over his shoulder and smiled over at Carl. 

“Sure thing kiddo,” Rick answered, dropping his bag on the queen size bed that was inside their room. The small cabin was clean, but old, with one queen bed in the main room and two bunk beds in the second room and a spacious bathroom off to the right. 

“Cool I get top bunk” Carl shouted in the next room, causing Rick to smile.

“Hurry up and get changed and we’ll go to the lake,” Rick said, digging through the cooler pulling out a beer for himself and juice for Carl. Now that he was here Rick was really going to focus on relaxing. 

Once Carl and Rick were unpacked the pair made their way outside in search for the lake. 

“Rick Grimes is that you?!” A man with nothing but grey hair pulled back into a low ponytail asked. Rick smiled at the man almost instantly recognizing him. He looked the same but older. 

“Hershel, it's so great to see you!” Rick said, smiling brightly at the man who he had known since childhood.

“My goodness son it's been years, I can't believe it! So I heard you’re a police officer now?” Hershel asked, pulling Rick in for a quick hug.

“Yeah, I'm on leave now but a police officer sheriff's deputy, actually. And this is my son, Carl.” Rick said, placing both of his hands on Carl's shoulders.

“Wow, you know you look just like your daddy when he was your age. What are you about 11?” Hershel asked the young boy. 

“I'm 10,” Carl said proudly. “You knew my dad when he was a kid?” Carl asked, amazed. 

“Oh yeah! Your daddy and my daughter Maggie were really good friends and your daddy and his group of friends spent the summers swimming in my pond and causing trouble in the barn,” Hershel said throwing a wink in Rick's directions. 

“How is Maggie by the way?” Rick asked before Carl could get a word in. 

“She's doing great, she's around here somewhere,” he said. 

“Maggie is here?” Rick asked surprised. 

“Yea, she helps out around here. You can't miss her she's about 9 months pregnant and ready to bust,” Hershel said with a pleasant smile. 

“She's having a baby?” Rick asked, surprised again. 

“It will be her second one, her little one is about 2. Her name is Annabelle.” 

“Wow, and all this time I thought she was still in Atlanta,” Rick said, still holding Carl by the shoulders. 

“She dragged her boyfriend back here about 5 years ago got married and never left,” Hershel said with a chuckled. 

“Well, if you see her tell her that I'm here and say hi. Carl and I are gonna head to the lake.”

“Will do, she's probably in the barn with Daryl,” Hershel answered, as they started to walk toward the lake. 

Rick paused at the name of Daryl falling off the older man's lips. Rick’s heart hammered in his chest. Daryl couldn't be here, not after all this time. 

“Daryl Dixon?” Rick questioned. Hershel gave a hearty laugh. 

“Of course, do we know any other Daryl?” Hershel said with a smile, patting Rick on the shoulder before walking off to greet another new guest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait! Life kind of caught up with me! I want to thank you all for reading and I love hearing what y'all have to say! It makes my day! 
> 
> A huge huge thank you to Marooncamero for betaing for me! You're the best!!

Daryl’s life for the most part was pretty good. Especially now, working on the ranch. His childhood wasn't so good, having an abusive father who nearly killed him a few times but he had some friends that he considered family even more than his actually family. His childhood was filled with dreadful, painful and depressing moments but there was always one person who was able to fix that for Daryl and that was Rick. 

The two boys met in second grade when Daryl first moved to King County. Rick walked right up to Daryl, who was sitting by himself at the time, introduced himself, and literally dragged Daryl across the lunch room to sit at his table with him and his friends. The two boys had an instant connection and Daryl got along with everyone else at the table. Pretty soon the shy kid stopped waiting for Rick to come get him and just started to sit at their normal table. 

Fifth grade was a tough year for Daryl. It was the first time Merle got thrown in jail, so Merle wasn't around to stop his father from beating the hell out of him. He missed a lot of school that year, it was because of his friends that Daryl didn't get held back. It was also the year Rick found out about his mean daddy. 

The first time Rick saw Daryl’s bruised body had been by mistake. Seeing the way Rick's face paled and the way his eyes clouded over with anger was something Daryl would never forget, no one ever tried to stand up for him or got mad for him. The way Rick pulled Daryl into a hug afterwards was also another thing Daryl hasn't forgotten about. The instant feeling of safe, protected and loved washed over him and Daryl didn't want to let go of that feeling. 

**“Come on Dixon!” The 10 year old Shane Walsh shouted from Maggie Greene’s pond.**

**“No way man! If I'm not home on time my dad will have my ass,” Daryl replied back.**

**“You know Daryl, swimming with us one afternoon won't hurt ya,” Maggie said matter of factly swimming up next to Shane.**

**“it's not that and you guys know it. Y'all know I'd rather hang out with you guys, just dad says be home by 5 which means be home before 5 or else.” The 11 year old Daryl Dixon replied sitting on the ground next to the pile of book bags.**

**“Yea man, just leave him be,” Rick said swimming up to Shane, his curls wild and dripping water droplets around him. Rick threw a glance Daryl’s way smiling slightly when the older boy was already watching him, giving him a silent thank you nod.**

**“Alright Dixon, whatever,” Shane said splashing Daryl getting his shirt all wet.**

**Daryl made a growling noise in the back of his throat, glaring daggers at Shane. “What the hell man!” Daryl barked looking down at the wet fabric clinging to his to thin form. “Dude, my dad is gonna kill me,” He growled again.**

**“Shane that wasn't cool!” Rick shouted to his friend.**

**“Yea Shane! You know Daryl's dad is a hard ass,” Carol said defending her other friend.**

**“Daryl, you can wear my shirt home. My mom won't care that I come home in a wet shirt,” Rick said, pulling his lanky form out of the pound to hand Daryl his dry shirt.**

**Daryl shot Shane another dirty look before taking the offered garment. “Thanks,” Daryl mumbled slipping off just behind the barn to change in privacy.**

**Rick ran off after Daryl skidding to a stop seeing Daryl’s shirtless form. Rick’s mouth frozen in a ‘O’ seeing the fresh marks cut into Daryl's back. Two perfect straight lines carved deep into his back making a X. They looked red and angry, and maybe a little bit infected, but mostly just painful.**

**“Daryl,” Rick whispered pressing a hand to his mouth as he realized Daryl’s behavior change lately. The missing school, not wanting to hang out as much, him flinching at raised voices and friendly pats on the back.**

**Daryl whipped around, hurrying to pull the dry t-shirt over his head as fast as he could. “Jesus Rick,” Daryl blurted out, taking in his friends shocked and pained expression. “It's not what it looks like, l- I just fell out in the woods,” Daryl said, trying to cover up what was really going on.**

**Rick shook his head slowly, taking a few steps closer to Daryl. “It's okay Daryl, I won't say anything to the others,” Rick said trying to calm the scared boy.**

**“You can't tell anyone Rick,” Daryl said with a pleading tone in his voice.**

**“I won't say anything, I promise. Is it- is it your dad?” Rick asked, his eyes searching Daryl.**

**“Yea. Since Merle got locked up. He's been even worse. He normally yells and stuff - calls me names - but I guess now that Merle is gone he's got no one to beat on.”**

**“Daryl I don't know what to say, my dad is the sheriff he - he could help,” Rick said sitting down in the grass.**

**“You can't!” Daryl shouted. “He’ll kill me! Like for real he'd kill me,” Daryl said, his voice shaking a little.**

**“Okay Daryl, I won't.” Rick said holding his hands up in the air. “But you're hurt,” Rick whispered.**

**Daryl looked down in shame and shook his head. “Trust me Rick, I've had worse,” Daryl said, shrugging his shoulders. “I just gotta keep my head down and do what he wants and stay outta his way and I'll be fine.”**

**Rick was silent for a long moment before pulling a shocked Daryl into a tight embrace - one Daryl couldn't wiggle out of. “If you ever need a safe place for the night or something, you know what bedroom window is mine, just knock a few times. It can be our secret,” Rick said pulling back and looking Daryl in the eye, holding his gaze for as long as the older boy would allow.**

**Daryl ducked his head in embarrassment but nodded. He wasn't sure what to with that offer from Rick, being safe for Daryl was hiding out in the woods somewhere waiting for his daddy to leave or pass out, running to a someone's house for protection was never an option until now. Until Rick, his friend who cared about his wellbeing, gathered him up into his arms and hugged him tight. Rick, who was the first person who actually made Daryl feel safe. Daryl let the corners of his mouth turn upward in a small smile. “Thanks man,” he whispered.**

Sitting on the front porch of the big house they now used as the dining hall, Daryl looked over the land. He watched quietly as the guests that would be staying for the long weekend arrived, the kids squealing with joy as their parents unpacked the cars. He loved working here and he hated it. 

 

He loved the horses and his makeshift ranch family but dealing with the guest was Daryl's least favorite part. He was a wrangler here at the ranch so his job was to lead the trail rides, sometime teach lessons and help with meals, which all involved in talking with people. 

Daryl wasn't so good with people. New people made him nervous and uneasy, and talking never came easy for the youngest Dixon. Talking only came easy for him with Rick, but Daryl had burnt that bridge a long long time ago. 

His ranch family, Maggie, Glenn, their daughter Johann, Hershel, Beth, Carol and her daughter Sophie, knew Daryl didn't talk much and respected it and never tried to force him into fake nothing conversations. Daryl’s on and off again boyfriend Paul, or Jesus as everyone called him, hated that Daryl never spoke about anything serious, like past break ups or family shit. It was always the down fall to their relationship. Every single time the two broke up it was for the same reason. 

A part of Daryl of believed that it never worked out with Jesus because Jesus wasn't Daryl’s other half, the missing piece in his life. And for the most part Daryl was okay walking around closed off and miserable because he deserved it. What he did to his soulmate was unthinkable and cold. When Daryl thinks of how he pushed Rick away it makes his stomach flip and his fist to clench.

How Daryl had hurt Rick so badly that Daryl would never forgive himself for it. Daryl didn't deserve to be happy. Daryl didn't deserve to miss Rick even after all these years, and Daryl didn't deserve to find comfort in all the moments Rick made him feel safe and loved and worth something but he did. 

Watching all the guest seem so happy did bring a small smile to Daryl's face though. It was a small boy with brown hair and bright blue eyes that caught his eye as he ran past. He resembled his ex lover so much that Daryl wasn't sure if what he was seeing was real. The younger boy looked in Daryl’s direction and time seemed to freeze. 

This little boy looked just like Rick when he was 10 years old and Daryl felt his mouth go dry. If Rick’s mini me was here than Rick had to be too. Daryl's eyes scanned the parking lot landing on Herschel who was talking to a much older, but still hot as fuck, Rick Grimes.

Rick, for the most part, looked the same other than the graying beard and the longer curls. Seeing Rick with facial hair was new as well. Using this time to check Rick out while he spoke to Hershel, Daryl noticed two things different about him right off the bat. Rick was favouring his right side - like he had hurt it or something. To the naked eye it would go unnoticed but to Daryl, who spent years on top of years watching Rick closely, could tell instantly. 

And Rick was to skinny. Daryl remembered how Rick’s 18 year old body felt on top of him. He had been nothing but lean cut muscle, but now Rick looked to be just skin and bones, not an ounce of fat or muscle on his tall frame. That really got Daryl wondering and worrying, was he sick? Did he come because he was dying? Was he hurt? 

“Holy shit is that who I think it is?” Maggie's surprised voice broke him out of his stupider. Daryl glanced up at Maggie from where he sat, her large pregnant stomach sticking out farther than any other part of her body. Daryl stood from his chair while guiding Maggie to sit. 

Daryl swallowed his throat suddenly going dry. “Yea, that's him.”

“Holy shit!” Maggie said glancing up at Daryl whose gaze was fixed on Rick and her father. “I can't remember the last I’ve seen him,” Maggie commented, placing a hand on her swollen stomach. Daryl just grunted in response. “I wonder if his wife is here? What do you think he's been up too? Are you going to talk to him?” Maggie asked firing question after question. 

“Don't know Mags,” Daryl answered finally pulling his gaze away from Rick. “Where’s Glenn and Joanne?” Daryl asked, watching Maggie’s pregnant form struggle to get settled. 

“He looks good, a little skinny but good,” Maggie said ignoring Daryl's question while rubbing at her belly. 

“Maggie,” Daryl said again, watching her watch Rick. 

“I think you should talk to him,” Maggie said in a way of an response. Daryl sighed loudly before turning back to Rick. 

Every fiber in Daryl’s body was screaming out for Rick. To be loved and held. To be kissed and caressed by his strong but sure hands. Daryl brought a thumb up to his mouth biting at the nail and turning to look at Maggie instead. Maggie was watching him with a sad smile on her face. 

“They are down by the lake,” Maggie said softly. 

Daryl nodded his thanks before turning on his heel and heading down the road through the pasture toward the lake. 

The walk wasn't too far and when he got there he couldn't help but smile at little Joanne who was splashing in the water. Her face broke out into a smile at seeing Daryl approach. Glenn smiled at him as well. 

“Hey man!” Glenn said with a bright smile. 

“Hey,” was Daryl’s only reply before bending down and scooping up the infant who giggle happily in his ear. “You having fun peanut?” He asked the infant who beamed at him.

“Maggie was trying to nap before dinner tonight so I figured we'd come down for a bit. I know it's your spot to hang when all the new guest start to show,” Glenn said sounding unsure of his response. 

Daryl just shrugged his shoulders. “No worries man, besides I like this one,” Daryl replied, ticking Joanne’s tummy. 

Daryl and Glenn talked about the new horse Hershel just rescued while Joanne played on the shore, splashing water at their feet. It was when Rick’s mini me came racing out of the opening near the pasture that cause Daryl to tense up. He could see Rick about to break through the opening and he started to panic. There was no place to hide now.

Rick had eyes on Daryl the second he broke through the opening, causing Daryl's heart to race. His blue eyes shone with so much unsaid emotion, even in the distance Daryl could see it. He wore a small smile as he approached Glenn and Dary.l Daryl wanted to bolt with the way Rick was looking at him but locking eyes with Rick Grimes after so many years was like coming home after a long day at work.

“Dad, can I get in the water now!?!” Rick’s mini me shouted from a distance. 

Rick broke eye contact and full out smiled at his son, the sight made Daryl weak in the knees. Rick was still so fucking beautiful and Daryl hated himself even more for breaking his heart.

“Sure, Carl!” Rick shouted back, his voice as smooth as a honey.

Daryl actually groaned out loud. This was not good. He had to leave now or he'd do something stupid like grab Rick by the shirt and kiss him. Rick turned his smile back to the other two men and Daryl was already making his move to bolt. The pained look on Rick’s face caused Daryl to mutter a fast sorry before he turned fully around and hurried back to the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan to do more flashbacks of Rick and Daryl at different ages but they will not follow a certain order.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Daryl finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I finally got this posted. Hope everyone is still with me!! Let me know what you guys think! I love hearing what you have yo say!! 
> 
> A huge huge thank you to Marooncamero for betaing this for me! You are a life saver my dear!

The world around Rick faded out after finding out that Daryl Dixon was here, at the same ranch as him. Before Rick realized it he was scanning the land looking for the other man, even though he knew Daryl wouldn't be visible. It wasn't until Maggie showed up at his side that the world came back into focus for Rick.

His talk with Maggie was good he found himself genuinely smiling at her as they caught up. Rick told her about the divorce and being on leave but not what caused his leave. Maggie told him all about her husband Glenn and baby Joanne and Rick smiled at her. She was glowing, she wore a yellow sundress with a fond smile and Rick was truly happy at seeing his old friend so happy.

“Dad can we go to the lake now?” Carl asked coming up behind Rick. 

“Sure thing bud. First thing, this is my friend Maggie, Maggie this is Carl,” Rick said, guiding Carl in front of him by his shoulders. 

“Pleasure to meet you little man!” Maggie said, sticking her hand out for Carl shake. 

Carl blushed deeply but shook her hand. “Hi,” he said quietly, turning back to his dad. 

“Poor thing is just like you huh? Shy as can be,” Maggie said, grinning from ear to ear.

“How long have you known my dad?” Carl asked, his curiosity finally getting the better of him. 

“Well little man, let's just say I've known your daddy long enough to know that you look just like him when he was your age,” Maggie said, smiling down at Carl while rubbing her belly.

Carl's eyes grew big in amazement. “You've known my dad that long!?” he questioned.

“Oh Yea even before that too,” Maggie answered. 

Carl smiled brightly up at her and looked at his dad. “You guys must be like best friends then, like you and Shane use to be!” Carl said in wonderment. 

“Use to be?” Maggie asked, shocked, her eyebrows creeping up her forehead. 

Rick gave a shrug, silently telling Maggie he would tell her about it later. “And yes Carl we are best friends, we just haven't spoke in a while.” 

“Yea” Maggie agreed with a bright smile. “Sometimes life just gets too busy.”

“Well now that dad isn't married to my mom anymore maybe he'll have some extra time,” Carl said hopefully. “Dad was happier with a best friend,” he added on, looking up at his dad. 

Rick gave him a warning look but smiled at Maggie. It wasn't like Carl was wrong, Rick was happier when he had Shane as his friend, but he still hated the fact that Carl could tell he was a little unhappy. 

“You ready for the lake, kiddo?” Rick asked, trying to avoid the subject. 

Carl groaned and started headed toward the lake “I'm not a kid anymore dad!” Carl said.  
“And Maggie, it was nice to meet you,” he added with a nod of his head. 

Rick snorted in laughter before turning to Maggie and pulling her into a hug. “It's been to long,” he said. 

Maggie smiled brightly at him. “We’ll catch up later,” she told Rick, giving him the look that said you better tell me everything. 

The walk to the lake was filled with thoughts about Daryl Dixon. After finding out the older man worked here Rick couldn't stop thinking about him. It was like all the work he and Shane had done to help get Rick get over Daryl was erased and Rick was right back at square one. 

The only difference between now and then was instead of feeling sorry and sad for himself, he was a little pissed off. Why would Daryl just end it? Why did Daryl stop loving him so suddenly? Was there someone else? 

These were questions Rick wanted answers to. Hell, he deserved answers from his ex lover. Rick thought he had everything all planned out, he'd become a police officer, Daryl would work and eventually own Dale’s auto, and they would get married and live on a small piece of land with enough room for hunting and horses maybe even a couple of kids. Something had quickly changed for Daryl and Rick wanted - no - needed to know.

Rick had his eyes on Daryl the minute he came into view. He looked somewhat the same but definitely way hotter. Daryl’s shoulders and biceps seemed to only have gotten bigger with age and Rick wanted nothing more than to lick the sweat off his arms. His hair was longer and darker, covering most of his eyes, but Rick could still see the pale blue eyes that watched him like a hawk as he approached. 

Daryl's reaction was a mixture of surprise, guilt, and fear, written all over his face as Rick grew closer to the two other men. Rick wanted to reach out and grab him by the neck and pull him in for a tight hug, show him that he didn't have to be scared or feel guilty. The almost pained look in Daryl’s eyes had Rick's hands twitching. Seeing Daryl tense up in panic when Rick got close enough kept his twitching hands by his side.

Rick still knew Daryl's tell signs of anger, fear and panic. The way his body would tense up and the emotion his eyes held. Right now Daryl was freaking out. Daryl's eyes darting back and forth looking for a way out. 

Then Carl was calling for him and Daryl was gone, leaving Rick to introduce himself to the stranger. Glenn turned out to be Maggie's husband and he was really a great guy, but Rick was more than disappointed. He wanted - no - he needed to speak with Daryl. 

At dinner there was no sign of Daryl but Rick did get to catch up with both Carol and Maggie, while Carl and Sophia, Carol’s daughter, kept each other busy. Turns out telling his oldest friends about Lori and Shane was actually refreshing and it had Rick feeling lighter and less bad about it. 

After dinner there was a bonfire that Carl begged to go to but only because Sophia was going to be there and Rick couldn't say no. Not when Carl was already having so much fun and not when Daryl could be there. As the night grew longer Rick lost hope that Daryl would show up and dragged Carl back to their cabin for the night with promises of a new and exciting day tomorrow. 

****  
“So we talked to Rick,” Maggie said to Daryl as she waddled up the steps toward Daryl who was sitting in a rocking chair watching the fire from afar. 

Daryl sighed but rose to his feet to help Maggie up the last few steps. 

“Good for you,” he said without any real bite. 

“Oh don't be like tha,.” Carol said, “We all know you want to talk to him as much as he wants to talk to you.” Carol patted his shoulder. 

Daryl glared at her but didn't argue with her statement. 

“Him and Lori are divorced,” Maggie stated, rubbing at her large belly. “Rick caught her and Shane having an affair.” 

Daryl's eyes widened at the sudden gush of new information. Rick and Shane were close, like brother close. Daryl felt a sudden wave of anger toward Shane. Rick was always a good friend, the type of friend you wanted to keep forever, and Daryl found it infuriating that Shane would betray Rick like that.

“And he was hurt at work but he wouldn't tell us why or how,” Carol added. 

Daryl just hummed in response. He knew the younger man was hurt or at least healing from something when he first laid eyes on him. 

“y'all need to mind your own damn business,” Daryl told them, making his way toward the back of the property where his small cabin was. 

Daryl didn't sleep well that night. He tossed and turned with thoughts of Rick hurting. His mind took him to dark places as to why Rick would be sick and have to be on leave. When he would settle his brain down enough he would automatically go to thinking about hurt and betrayed Rick was from what Lori and Shane had done to him. 

Daryl could picture the hurt look in Rick’s eyes as the night went on. He could clearly see the pained looked in those blue eyes, the way the emotions cloud around his clear eyes making them foggy with hurt and sadness. That look replayed over and over in Daryl's mind all night because once upon a time he was the one who put it there. Now though, Daryl only had the urge to comfort Rick. Show him that he wasn't the same old scared-of-his-emotions guy anymore. 

When Daryl did finally fall asleep for the night, it wasn't long before he was due up to help with the breakfast, then lessons then rides, then lunch, then more rides, then turning the horses out for the night and then finally dinner. It was going to be a long day but Daryl looked forward to it. Today he was going to talk to Rick. He was going to show Rick that he wasn't afraid of him or what he had to say after so many years. 

When he arrived to the mess hall Maggie took one look at him and shook her head. 

“Sit down,” The pregnant woman commanded, giving his shoulders a light push.

Daryl sighed but knew better than to disagree with a pregnant Maggie. 

“You look like you've barely slept,” Maggie said, pushing Joanne into Daryl’s arms. “You're on baby duty and you're lucky because she loves you and won't give you any sass,” Maggie added handing Daryl Joanne’s bottle of milk and cereal. 

Joanne immediately snuggled into Daryl, gripping his leather vest tightly in her little hand. Daryl pressed a gentle kiss to her dark hair before stuffing the bottle in her mouth. Joanne immediately started to suckle on the bottle and snuggled deeper into Daryl’s arms. Daryl smiled down at the small girl, letting her draw his thoughts away for a little while.

When Rick stepped out of his cabin Daryl's mind short circuited. Rick's curls were sleep rumbled and out of control, his lips held a sleepy pout that Daryl wanted to kiss away, and his eyes squinted against the sun making Rick look like A GQ model. The closer Rick got the more obvious it became that Rick was sexy as fuck. Only wearing his pajamas that were loose and thin, leaving nothing to Daryl's imagination. He looked adorable and Daryl was kicking himself because he had the chance to wake up to that every morning but he had to fuck it up. Just like everything else. 

He could tell by the look on Rick’s face what he was looking for, coffee. Even at the early age of seventeen Rick was a coffee addict and watching him approach Daryl knew that part about Rick hadn't changed. 

“coffee is inside,” Daryl had said with more confidence than he thought he had as Rick climbed the steps toward Daryl. 

Rick gave him a sleepy but thankful smile and Daryl's heart melted. He still had it bad for Rick even after all these years. Now his nerves were getting the best of him. Rick had been so mad all those years ago and there was no telling what Rick had to say now that they were finally coming face to face again after so long. 

Rick had texted or called Daryl every day for three months straight after Daryl tore Rick's Heart out and stomped on it. Rick had to be upset still, or at least want answers. The door was pushed opened and Daryl could literally smell the coffee mixing with Rick’s natural scent and he had to close his eyes to get a hold on himself. 

When Daryl opened his eyes Rick was watching him, the coffee mug pressed to his lips while he blew on the steaming liquid. They locked eyes and Daryl had a rush of feelings run through his body all at once. Fuck, Rick smelled the same, looked the same, smiled the same and looked at him the same. With those eyes that ripped right into your soul. Daryl swallowed hard but never tore his gaze from Rick even when he moved to sip his coffee. Rick’s eyes got wide as he swallowed with a cough. 

“I can't believe they let you make the coffee this strong, Rick said with a playful smirk on his face moving around to stand in front of Daryl. 

Daryl's heart warmed at the comment. Rick remembered how he made his coffee and he smirk back. 

“Just drink it, it might give you some hair on your chest, Grimes,” Daryl sassed.

Rick snorted into the cup but took another sip. 

“Think I have enough hair on my chest but thanks anyway,” Rick teased back. 

Daryl shook his head but smirked looking down at the baby in his arms before looking up at Rick who was watching him over his coffee cup. 

“Just drink your coffee Rick….you get cranky without it,.” Daryl said, his lips twitching upward in a smile. 

“You remembered” Rick said, feeling touched.

“Hard to forget,” Daryl answered.

********  
Rick nodded in response not knowing what to say. He agreed with Daryl. It was hard to forget. Rick remembered everything. The good times, the bad times, and the times when Daryl was the only one Rick wanted to be around. Really looking at Daryl now in light of the morning sun holding a half asleep baby to his chest, he looked tired but settled and happy, knowing Daryl was happy made Rick’s heart warm. 

“You look good Daryl,” Rick said, his voice dripping with honesty. 

Daryl's head dipped in a nod, his cheeks turning slightly pink. 

“You're hurt,” was Daryl's response, eyeing Rick closely. “You are favoring you're right side.”

Rick swallowed, forgetting that Daryl had laser eyes and when it came to someone he cared about he would notice everything. 

“Ugh yeah,” Rick said, rubbing at the back of his neck, not knowing how he should tell Daryl. Daryl’s eyes raked over Rick’s body making Rick feel like he was 10 inches tall. 

“You look good though,” Daryl said with a nod of his head. 

“Thanks, got a few more bullet holes in me now but the doctor said I'll be back to work soon,” Rick answered, finally coming clean. 

Daryl's eyes got wide and the worry etched itself in the lines of his face.

“The fuck Rick?”

He hissed out, his hands wanting to reach out and touch Rick to make sure he was really okay. 

Rick just shook his head. He knew deep down Daryl would act like this, so overcome with worry that he seemed almost angry with Rick, but Rick knew it was how Daryl dealt with things like this. 

“How bad? Where were you hit?” Daryl asked. 

Rick sighed running a hand down his face, he really didn't want to get into that now. He also knew Daryl wouldn't let this go.

“I was hit twice,” Was all Rick could get in before a loud bell ringing over head sounded signaling for breakfast.

Daryl sighed and shook his head. “We aren't done with this,” he said, standing up carefully with Maggie's daughter tucked protectively against his chest.

“Go get Carl, get some food, and we’ll talk afte,.” Daryl said, making a shooting motion to Rick to kick him off the porch. 

As Daryl went back inside with the baby, Rick was left standing on the big porch all alone with a half full cup of coffee in his hand and a feeling in his heart like after all these years nothing ever changed. Not even his feelings for Daryl.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To start of I would like to say I'm so so sorry about making y'all wait so long!! If anyone is still reading this I would love to here what you thinks! Your comments mean so much for me !
> 
> P.s  
> This chapter is not betaed. I was in a hurry and didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer.

Breakfast was nothing but organized chaos. There were at least 30 people all chattering while the silverware clinked against plates. Some of the ranchers buzzed around replacing empty bowls of breakfast food while Rick searched for some empty seats for Carl and himself. 

Spotting Carol, Sophia, Glenn and Maggie Rick ushered Carl in that direction. Carl waved happily at Sophia and Rick smiled brightly at the group. 

“y'all have room for two more?” Rick asked holding Carl by the shoulders.

“Of course, sit!” Maggie said smiling brightly.

Rick and Carl got seated and Carl immediately started chatting with Sophia about some comic book that Rick had no idea about. He couldn't keep the small smile off his face. His son was beaming happily, he was sitting at a table with two of his old high school friends and his conversation with Daryl this morning went better than he expected. Having him around was making him feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Rick knew he had to be careful when it came to Daryl though. Once upon a time Daryl gave Rick the same warm fuzzy feeling, then Daryl came in and took it all right from him. It took Rick years to get over Daryl and every day was a reminder of what he lost. Then out of the blue here is Daryl and Rick is starting to feel like a teenager again. Rick was worried about getting burned again because the first time hurt way too much. 

Rick fell into conversation easily while he loaded up their plates with bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and sausage. It was like things haven't changed between Maggie, Carol and himself. When Daryl joined them in the middle of breakfast things seemed to fall into place even more. The five adults laughed and joke like nothing had changed and Rick felt weightless. 

Rick was afraid after the coma and the divorce that things would never feel normal again. That his smile would be permanently fake and every emotion would be forced. But here he sat talking with Maggie, Carol and Daryl while his son laughed happily next to him, had Rick feeling lighter than he had in years. Maybe it was Daryl’s calming presents, or Maggie’s big smiling face or Carol’s sense of strength but whatever it was Rick was happy to have it back in his life again. 

As breakfast went on Rick tried to ignore Maggie's and Carol’s pleased glances while he stole lingering looks at Daryl. Daryl was his everything all them years ago and sitting so close to him now as conversation flowed so easily had Rick’s emotions going nuts. One minute he wanted to hug Daryl close to him and feel the heat off his strong body as he buried his face into the crook of his neck while the next he wanted to strangle him for all the pain and suffering Daryl put him through. 

When Daryl caught his stare across the table Daryl’s eyes narrowed as if he was reading Rick’s mind. His facial expression changing from light and relax to guarded and unsure the next. Rick had no doubt that Daryl knew exactly what was going on in his head and even know it didn't surprise him that Daryl could tell what was wrong, it scared him. 

“My sister Beth, she teaches the cantering lessons, if Carl needs lessons she'll teach him.” Maggie said picking up on the tension easily. 

Rick smiled over at her gratefully and nodded. 

“Yea, he's going to need lessons.” He answered.

“You'll probably need lessons too, it's not as easy as it looks ya know” Daryl warned sucking bacon grease off his finger. 

Rick’s attention was caught by Daryl sucking the bacon grease off his fingers. A trait that the older man never outgrew. It was also a trait that had Rock’s mouth watering. His mind taking him back to a time when Daryl use to suck on other things just to make Rick fall apart. 

Rick knew he was caught staring when he saw the smirk playing at Daryl's lips as he pulled his finger from his mouth slowly and started in on his other finger.

“Dad!” Carl said with a slight nudge to his side.

Rick nearly jumped at his son's voice. His cheeks quickly heating up with embarrassment. “What?” He asked. 

“Maggie asked if you needed lessons too?”

“No, I don't. I already know how and besides the doctor said I couldn't anyway” Rick answered to the group. 

“Already know how? I kind of find that hard to believe.” Daryl said eyeing Rick. 

Rick smirked at Daryl and shook his head. 

“Some things do change ya know” Rick started digging out an old photo from his wallet. 

The picture was of a very much younger Rick, probably around the age of 25. He was smiling proudly in full police uniform sitting on top of a beautiful black stallion, who was also decorated in police things. 

“I was in the mounted unit for about 7 years before the department lost its funding. That was Charlie.” Rick said gesturing to the picture Daryl was studying. 

“He was a handful and a lot to handle at times but he was a great partner to have.” Rick said reaching for the photo as Maggie passed it around to him.

“What happened to him?” Daryl asked Rick. 

“He died” Carl blurted. “He got sick and dad said it wasn't fair to keep him around if he was suffering. That it was no way for an animal to live.” Carl said with a sad smile. 

“He had cancer, bone cancer, then broke his leg one afternoon just walking in the field.” Rick explained. 

“Dad was really sad” Carl stated placing a hand on his father's shoulder. “He cried a lot” he added. 

“losing an animal is never easy kid” Daryl spoke up. 

“He cried more about Charlie than when he and mom split.” Carl informed the group. 

Rick caught Daryl’s eye across the table and holding his gaze was calming in sorts. Putting Charlie down was hard. Putting Charlie down himself was even harder. That night it happened Rick almost broke down and called Daryl. He wanted some sort of comfort and Lori tried but he could tell she really truly didn't care but tried nonetheless.

Having Daryl so close and looking at him with such concern, sadness and understanding was more comforting than Rick could imagine. His heart felt calm and he felt whole again but then Daryl looked away. As if Rick’s stare had burnt Daryl. Rick cleared his throat, destroying the moment all together and clapped Carl lightly on the shoulder. 

“Thanks buddy for letting everyone know I cried like a baby” Rick said trying to change the subject.

Maggie cleared her throat and stood breaking the tension.

“I'll get started on dishes. You guys have a good ride. See you at lunch” she said ruffling Carl's hair as she waddled by.

Shortly after Maggie left Glenn and Daryl had to leave to get the horses ready and Carol smirked over at Rick.  
.   
“I know that look Carol” Rick said with a playful smile. 

“You two are just as bad now as you were in school.” Carol smiled. 

“And what exactly is that suppose to mean?” Rick asked. 

“The pair of you making googly eyes at each all morning” Carol said with a knowing smile. “I knew y'all would still have feelings for each other”

Rick sighed. “fraid it's not that easy.” he said watching Carl and Sophia play on the lawn through the window.

Carol took a step closer and lowered her voice. 

“Then y'all need to sit down and have a real talk because i'm sick of seeing him walking around here miserable all the damn time and judging by the smile that's been stuck on your face since you've gotten here, you've been pretty miserable too.”

Rick was stunned. Why would Daryl be so miserable all the time. Daryl was the one that ended it with him. Daryl said he didn't want Rick around anymore. So why would Daryl be upset? Was Carol trying to tell Rick that Daryl still wasn't over him? Carol would be the person to know, the pair had been close even in school.

“Lessons are starting, just figure out what you need to say and how to say it and do it, okay Rick?” she said laying a gently hand on his shoulder. 

Rick just nodded and gave Carol a grateful smile. She was right, he had to say something to Daryl or he’d snap. Maybe after dinner he would tell Daryl that he still wasn't over him. Maybe he'd tell his ex lover that he was still so mad and hurt about the break up and maybe he'd tell Daryl that above it all he still loved him and the thought of leaving this ranch without the promise of something more was killing him slowly.

Rick watched closely to Carl's cantering lessons, ready to jump in help Carl if needed. Instead he found himself impressed. Maggie's sister, Beth, whom Rick remembers as a kindergartener, knew what she was doing. She was great with the children and took her time with them. 

Carl was a natural at riding. He took to it easily and looked nothing but comfortable sitting on top of his horse. Maybe if Carl really enjoyed this experience than he might think about buying them a horse, it was worth the thought. And worth the money if it meant spending more time with Carl.

After Carl's lesson the second cantering ride went out. Rick was nervous that he wasn't going with Carl, but Beth reassured him Carl was more than ready and Maggie swore that Glenn would keep a special eye out for him. Trusting what Maggie and Beth were saying he waved Carl off with a smile and waited patiently for Hershel to pick his horse for the strictly walk trail ride. 

“Rick I'll give you Nelly” Hershel told Rick last. 

Daryl came walking around the other side of the feeding stall with a chestnut color horse following him loyally. He smiled at the pair because they both looked so comfortable and content. Daryl stopped Nelly in front Rick. Rick held Daryl's gaze for a long moment before turning his attention to Nelly.

“Hey you” Rick said lowly letting Nelly sniff and snort at his hand before petting up her mane.

Rick went about checking the reins and stirrups before pulling himself up into the saddle. Rick let out a relieved breath and smiled. Sitting on top of Nelly made Rick feel happy again, like really happy. Not the fake happy he put on for Carl.

“Feel okay?” Daryl asked from the ground double checking everything and Ricks feet placement. 

“Feels good” Rick answered looking down at Daryl with a blinding smile. “Really good.” 

Daryl's eyes twinkled in a way that told Rick Daryl was happy. The look Daryl was currently giving Rick was one of Rick's favorites. Seeing Daryl's eyes shine with happiness always did funny things to Rick's heart and it was no different then than it is now.

Daryl nodded once at Rick breaking him out of his trance. Rick smiled at Daryl and nodded back at him saying he was okay. Daryl gave Rick and Nelly one last once over before hurrying off and helping someone else with their house.

The trail ride through woods was peaceful. Nelly was an easygoing horse and responded well to Rick. Nelly liked to hang back walking behind all the other riders keeping a slow and steady pace. Rick was okay with it, taking the peaceful ride through the woods to think.   
How would he be able to talk to Daryl without sounding like little girl who never got over their first boyfriend even though it was true. Just asking Daryl why he broke it off all them years ago out of the blue would only piss Daryl off and make him nervous. Rick didn't want that but he also wanted answers.

Up ahead Rick watched Daryl guide his horse through the trees just as quietly and easily as he did while hunting. A smile pulled at his lips. Of course Daryl's horse would be just as stealthily and graceful as the hunter. 

As Daryl knew Rick was watching him he twisted in his saddle locking eyes on Rick. 

“Everyone okay?” Daryl asked the group but kept his eyes on Rick. 

Rick gave Daryl a nod knowing the question was directed at him and returned the nod before turning back around in his saddle. Rick had to take a deep breath to calm himself. The look of Daryl on the back of the horse had Rick’s heart racing. He was perfect.

Half way through the trail ride, Rick’s ass was starting to become numb and his legs were starting ache but that was okay because Daryl had pulled back and was riding in the back with Rick. Rick could feel Daryl's eyes on him often. As if Daryl was checking him out and using his laser eyes to see if he was hurt. Daryl hadn't said anything to him but Rick could tell Daryl wanted to. 

Daryl worried his thumb with his teeth while he kept glance over at Rick. Rick wanted to reach over and ease his out of his mouth for him. Rick shifted in his saddle wincing at being in the same position for awhile. 

“Rick? You okay?” Daryl asked, worry lacing his voice.

Rick glanced over at Daryl and felt his heart warm at the concern Daryl was showing for him.

“I'm good, just been awhile since I've been up in the saddle ya know” Rick replied.

“I was just checking, since you've been shot and all” Daryl said his thumb going back into his mouth. 

“Nah I'm good, no worries I go back to work next week so I'm pretty much all healed. I just get stiff and some stinging once in a while now. I swear I'm doing much better than I was before.” Rick explained. 

Daryl dropped his hand on the horn of his saddle and nodded. Rick could see Daryl swallow hard before speaking.

“How long has it been?” Daryl asked chewing on his thumb again. 

“How long what? Since I've been shot or since I've been in a coma?” Rick asked answering his question with a question. 

Daryl's mouth hung open in shock as he gaped over at Rick. After several long seconds of silence Daryl gave Rick a really long once over. 

“It was that bad huh?” he finally asked. 

Rick sighed and shifted in the saddle again before catching Daryl's eye. 

“I got shot twice. First here.” Rick said pointing to the middle of his chest. “my vest stopped the bullet.” Rick explained pausing to give Daryl some time to process the information.

“Bet that hurt” Daryl commented. 

“Not as bad as the second bullet, caught me just under my armpit.” Rick said pointing to the spot. “it bounced around pretty good in there too” Rick said, “doing damage to just about every organ but my heart.”

“Fuck Rick” Daryl said looking like he wanted to snatch Rick up into his arms. 

“Spent about two months in a coma. I've been on the road to recovery ever since.”

Daryl was quiet for a long moment before looking over at Rick. 

“Damn it Rick. I can't even begin to picture.” Daryl said quietly. 

“It wasn't fun...and to top it all off found out Lori was sleeping with Shane too” Rick said just getting it out at once. 

Daryl just gaped at him with his mouth open. 

“Shane as in Shane Walsh?” Daryl stuttered.

“Yup” Rick said making P at the end pop. 

“That's so fucked up” Daryl said. 

“Ain't it though” Rick agreed with a small smile. “but it is what it is, I still get Carl so I'm not complaining” Rick added.

“Still I'm sorry you had to go through that.” Daryl replied. 

“Me too, but hey at least I'm not wasting anymore time being with someone I don't truly love” Came Ricks reply. 

Rick’s own words rang in his ears making his heart pound. He glanced up at Daryl and they locked eyes. In that moment watching Daryl's blue eyes grow after what Rick had said Rick knew Daryl knew what he was talking about. And that scared the shit of Rick.   
How would Daryl respond? Was he just as scared as Rick? Did he feel the same still? Did he feel bad for leaving Rick?

“Yea, I think I know what that is like.” Daryl said slowly. 

Rick's heart leapt at those words. Maybe just maybe Daryl knew he was talking about him. Rick looked at Daryl and the sudden urge to ask him about the past popped up. Rick wanted answers. He wanted to know why and if Daryl even felt bad about it.

“Hey Daryl do you think we could talk later, maybe after dinner. You know alone?” Rick asked rubbing the back of his neck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a whole flash back chapter of some Rick and Daryl lovings! 
> 
> I would also like to apologize for the wait again! Real life is hard sometimes! 
> 
> And thank you to Marooncamero for betaing for me!!! I love you and you rock!
> 
> Be sure to let me know what y'all think! I love hearing from you guys!

_“So how is that motorcycle coming along, Daryl?” Rick’s father asked._

_“Slowly but should be ready by summer, Mr. Grimes,” Daryl replied._

_The two men stood on the front porch of the Grimes household waiting for Rick who was still helping his mother clean up dinner._

_“When it's finished you'll have to bring it by. I'm eager to take a look.”_

_“Of course, sir,” Daryl answered trying to not to fidget._

_He was a lot less shy around Mr. Grimes now than he had been before, but ever since Rick told his parents about the two of them being romantically involved it felt different around the older man. His parents were very accepting to his surprise and he didn't have to worry about being beaten to death about it either._

_Daryl knew what would happen if his dad ever found out him being in love with another man. It wasn't something he was ready to admit to anyone, but Rick wanted his parents to know the truth and when Rick gave him those eyes Daryl couldn't say no to him._

_Rick’s parents took the time out to listen to them and make each boy understand that there was nothing wrong with them for liking another man. That kind of kindness was something Daryl never knew, but it made him love Rick even more._

_“Okay, I'm all done,” Rick said pushing the front door open._

_Daryl beamed at Rick as Rick stepped out onto the porch to join Daryl and his father. Rick wore simple blue jeans that fit his baseball thighs just right. His light blue t-shirt stood against his sun tanned skin and his smile was blinding._

_“You ready?” Rick asked Daryl impatiently._

_Daryl gave Rick a small nod and turned to Mr. Grimes with a hand shake._

_“Rick behome by midnight and you boys have fun,” Mr. Grimes said as the boys made their way down the drive toward Daryl’s truck._

_“Okay dad see ya later!” Rick called to his father as he waved._

_Daryl started the engine and took off down the road. Rick glanced over at Daryl and smiled, he had missed Daryl this week at school. He had missed a week for some unknown reason that Rick was determined to get to the bottom of, but right now seeing Daryl relaxed and at ease behind the wheel had Rick grinning. Rick scooted across the bench seat and nuzzled his nose and lips behind Daryl’s ear, pressing soft kisses there._

_“What’s got you so lovey dovey all of the sudden?” Daryl asked leaning into the loving touch of Rick Grimes._

_Rick smiled against Daryl’s throat and pressed a soft kiss to it._

_“I just missed you that’s all,” Rick replied._

_Daryl glanced over at Rick quickly with a smirk pulling at his lips he shifted and kissed Rick hastily on the lips before turning his attention back to the road._

_“Missed ya too.”_

_“So are you going to tell me why you missed this week?” Rick asked, watching Daryl's fingers tighten around the wheel._

_Daryl just shrugged and turned his attention back to the road. Rick nodded his understanding and twisted their fingers together before bringing Daryl's knuckles up to his mouth pressing a soft kiss to them. Rick knew better not to push for information when Daryl missed school. Daryl would tell Rick when he was ready._

_The cab of the truck fell into a comfortable silence. The only sound that filtered between the two teens was the rumble of the engine. Daryl's hand fit perfectly in Rick’s and even though Daryl's week had been complete shit, sitting there holding Rick’s hands had Daryl's heart content and happy._

_Daryl's dad had managed to beat the living shit out of him Monday night and that had Daryl out of commission for the rest of the week. He wanted to call Rick but every time his dad had laid eyes on the younger Dixon he went into a fit of rage. So Daryl choose to hide out in his room thinking of Rick and thinking of ways to make it up to him for going missing for a whole week._

_Instead of going to hang out with the group of friends they shared, Daryl told Rick he had something else planned. All through dinner with Rick’s parents Rick had bugged him about what they were doing but Daryl managed to resist Rick’s charm._

_So when Daryl turned his truck off the main road and on to a small dirt road Rick looked at him confused but said nothing. In the bed of the truck Daryl had packed a fishing pole, some beers, and a blanket. The small hidden lake was the perfect place to take Rick._

_When the two finally made it to the end of the road Rick turned and gave Daryl a big smile. While Daryl was bringing the vehicle to a stop Rick was busy taking in his surroundings. The lake was small but clear with wildflowers growing on each end._

_“Daryl this place,” Rick said in awe pushing his door open._

_Daryl smiled over at Rick and went around to start unloading the things out of the bed of the truck. With one blanket under one arm, a fishing pole in the other hand and a backpack hoisted up on his back, Daryl jerked his head in the direction of the lake._

_“Come on,” he called to Rick as he walked toward the lake._

_“This is amazing!” Rick said catching up to Daryl._

_Daryl hummed his response as he went about setting the blanket out. He fished out two beers from his pack and handed Rick one._

_“How'd the game go Wednesday?” Daryl asked, cracking open his beer and taking a seat on the blanket._

_Rick followed suit and dropped down next to Daryl. Laying on his stomach with his elbows propping him up, Rick smiled up at Daryl._

_“Good. We won,” Rick answered, taking a drink of his beer._

_“Maggie told me you scored 3 runs then a homerun to win the game,” Daryl said with a smirk._

_Rick nodded along while Daryl talked, a smile pulling at his lips._

_“Maggie’s not wrong,” Rick said as a smile tugged at his lips._

_“Show off,” Daryl said with a smirk._

_“I got your school work,” Rick said, thumbing to the truck. “It's in my bag,” he added._

_Daryl gave a sigh, it wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate Rick looking out for him and keeping him on course so he could graduated and actually have a life without his no good father, but he didn't want Rick putting his own future at risk for him. Rick had his own things to worry about, like his grades and baseball. Not Daryl and his shitty life._

_“Stop that Daryl,” Rick said, giving Daryl a sharp stern look._

_“I don't know what you're talking about,” Daryl replied, taking a drink of his drink._

_“Yes you do Daryl,” Rick said with a sigh, scooting closer to the older teen._

_“It's not fair that you do that to yourself. I hate seeing you put yourself down like that. You're every bit as good as me. Hell, you're better than me,” Rick said clearly, gripping Daryl's hand._

_“Pssst Rick, don't start okay,” Daryl said clenching his eyes closed._

_“Why Daryl? Why not start?” Rick asked,nudging Daryl to open up just a little bit._

_“Cuz it's a waste of breath Rick!” Daryl snapped._

_Rick’s jaw fell open in shock. It wasn't the first time Daryl had snapped at him. But it was the first time he confessed why he hated when Rick would get on him about his self esteem. Rick only wanted the best for Daryl. He was worth so much and Rick hated that he treated himself like shit on a shoe._

_“Why, Daryl?” Rick asked softly reaching out for his hand._

_Daryl sighed, clamping his eyes shut while chewing on his thumb nail. He knew Rick well enough to know he wasn't going to get judged about anything so he wasn't worried. It was just trying to put his feeling into words that Rick would understand._

_“It's okay Daryl. I'm here,” Rick said in a hushed tone, rubbing circles on the top of his hand._

_The silence stretched on while Daryl took the time to gather his thoughts. After several minutes Daryl opened his eyes glanced in Rick’s direction. Rick gave him an encouraging smile._

_“You spend all this time tell me how great I am and all that and you make me believe those things Rick,” Daryl said, squeezing his hand in response._

_“When I'm with you, you make me feel like I matter but then I go home and it's like it's all for nothing because by the end of the night I'm back to being nothing but a waste of space,” Daryl said with a heavy sigh._

_Rick sat with Daryl in silence for a few minutes while he processed what Daryl just had told him. He should have seen that in Daryl. He should be doing a better job of make Daryl feel good about himself all the time._

_“Daryl,” Rick said, sitting up and grabbing both of Daryl's cheeks to keep Daryl from averting his eyes._

_“You are the most wonderful, caring, fearless and beautiful man I've ever known. And I love you with all my heart and I would anything for you,” Rick said with all the convection he could muster._

_“And nothing is ever going to change that okay? You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, please believe that. I'll spend every day for the rest of our lives reminding you if I have to,” Rick finished._

_Daryl's eyes shone bright with unshed tears that he refused to let fall, but he had a slight smile on his face. He nodded firmly reaching up to grip Rick’s wrist as he continued to hold Daryl's face._

_“I love you too Rick,” Daryl said, leaning forward to press his lips against Rick’s._

_Rick met Daryl's lips eagerly and kissed him back with fever. Kissing Daryl was like coming home. It seemed to wash away his troubles and nothing else mattered when his lips were pressed against Daryl’s. Rick let out a moan when Daryl wove his fingers through Rick’s curls and tugged Rick so he could get at his neck._

_Daryl bit and licked at Rick’s sensitive skin while Rick’s hands roamed Daryl's flanks. Daryl let out a small hiss of pain when Rick touched his sore ribs but didn’t say anything to stop him. Rick’s touches meant the world to him. Rick’s touches were gentle and loving and never judging._

_Rick broke their kiss while rubbing his hands over Daryl's ribs again. Daryl made another quiet hiss but didn't flinch away from Ricks gentle touch._

_“I wish i could take your pain away,” Rick whispered against Daryl's neck._

_Daryl hummed in response. What Rick didn't know was that Rick did take his pain away. When he was with Rick nothing else matter. He loved Rick so strongly that it sometime scared him._

_“You do take my pain away,” Daryl gasped out as Rick rolled his body into Daryl._

_“You're my world Daryl Dixon,” Rick spoke as he rolled his hips down into Daryl's again._

_Daryl gasped and arched up into Rick egging his movements on. Rick thrust forward again earning a moan out of the young hunter. With gentle hands Rick reached out and tugged Daryl’s shirt off, needing to feel more of Daryl underneath him._

_With his fresh wounds out in the open Daryl sucked in a panicked breath. He felt so vulnerable and scared, but one look at Rick soothed his worries._

_“Ssshh,” Rick cooed, stroking his cheek. “I got you” he added._

_With a chaste kiss to Daryl's lips, Rick dipped down kissing Daryl's neck then his shoulders. As Rick continued to move his hot mouth in a trail down his arms and across his chest Daryl let out a breathy moan, his hand gripping in Rick’s dark curls._

_“My Daryl,” Rick almost purred against Daryl’s taut tummy._

_Daryl closed his eyes as Rick began to ravish his bruised ribs with gentle kisses, turning the hurt into pleasure and the bad memories into good ones. It was moments like these that Daryl felt safest and that he mattered._

_With Rick, all the shit in his life disappear with a simple kiss. Rick was Daryl’s safe place, a place where he could be his true self and not feel any judgment or anger. All he felt with Rick was love and understanding. ___

__Even after all these years, Daryl still felt that way when Rick came walking down the trail to the lake a few afternoons ago. He needed Rick, he would always need Rick, Rick was always going to be his safe place. Which is why Daryl needed to talk to Rick, and he was going to do it tonight after dinner._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: the big talk between Rick and Daryl


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys! Your guys didn't have to wait nine years for a new post annnnd it's a nice long chapter for you guys!!!!
> 
> A big thank you to @lotr58 for betaing for me! You are a rockstar!!!!!

After the morning trail ride Rick hadn't seen much of Daryl. Of which was probably a good thing. Now that it was known what they would be talking about after dinner Rick’s nerves kicked into overdrive. 

Rick was nervous and excited all at once. He was finally going to get the answers he deserved. He was finally going to hear from Dary, himself, why he left him the way he did. Rick wouldn't have to make up reasons anymore. 

For years Rick blamed himself for Daryl breaking up with him. His mind going to dark places like maybe Rick hadn't shown Daryl enough attention and he finally got sick of it, or maybe Daryl didn't find him attractive anymore or maybe Daryl couldn't handle the distance with Rick being away at the police academy for so long. Whatever it was Rick was going to finally know the truth. 

It was Shane who brought him back from that ledge of depression in the first few years after Daryl snapped his heart into pieces. It was Shane who forced him to get back out there, and it was Shane who introduced him to Lori. 

Now it was Shane who snuck in and tore his mangled heart to pieces again. This time, though, Rick had no one to help pick up all the broken pieces. Even though Shane and Lori begged and pleaded with Rick that it wasn't how it seemed, Rick felt devastated and alone. His only hope was Carl. 

In those months after finding out about Lori and Shane, Rick had never wanted Daryl more in his life. Daryl would make it better. Daryl would hold him until he was ready to let go. Daryl would be strong for him. Daryl would tell him it wasn't his fault. Daryl would be strong and steady for him to lean on. 

With a sigh, Rick sank down onto the bench near the dock as Carl splashed around and swam with some other kids. Suddenly, his mind was exhausted. He needed to stop thinking about Daryl and what would happen later on. 

“Rick” Maggie said, approaching slowly holding her wobbling toddler's hand. 

Rick stood and accepted the little one’s hand, watching as she squealed happily at him. Rick smiled down at the baby while guiding Maggie toward the bench. 

“You looked like you were in deep thought” Maggie said, digging through her bag of toys.

“Daryl and I are going to talk after dinner,” He said with a heavy sigh. 

Maggie just nodded as she helped her daughter set up her toys. 

“Daryl hasn't been himself since that summer he broke things off.” Maggie said finally.

“Are you trying to say that Daryl was forced to break up with me or something?” Rick asked.

“No, all I'm saying is that you should hear him out. My guess is you haven't been yourself since that summer, either. But you were much better at hiding it than he was.” Maggie replied.

“But I know you Rick, you are miserable” Maggie continued. 

Rick let out sigh, keeping one eye on Carl who was swimming past the dock with Sophia and some other kids. Maggie was right. Rick was miserable, and if he was being honest with himself, he was miserable since that sunny afternoon when Daryl ripped his heart out.

 

_The sun warmed Rick’s already overheated skin as he jogged through the woods toward the Dixon property. Rick had been in town for more than eight hours for a surprise visit for his Mom’s birthday and he had not heard from Daryl. While not hearing from the hunter wasn’t completely unusual, Rick hadn’t heard from Daryl in a week and that was unusual. His anxiety was through the roof because the last time he couldn’t get a hold of his lover, Rick had found the older boy passed out in the woods with fresh bleeding belt wounds on his back, and a gash above his eyebrow._

_As Rick approached the property line, his anxiety quickly disappeared because he spied his lover ahead, his back turned as he bent over the hood of an old beat-up Firebird. Rick literally sighed in relief. Daryl wasn’t hurt or missing. He was just busy working on a project. Sometimes when things got bad for Daryl and his feelings were too much for the him,he would throw himself into work and not talk to anyone for a few days._

_So Rick let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and gave a long, sharp whistle that Daryl had taught him while hunting a while back. The whistle meant ‘over here’ or just a general ‘I’m here’ whistle._

_Daryl's froze under the hood, his muscle and shoulders tensed so violently Rick could see it from where he stood. Daryl didn't move, he just stood frozen under the hood. Rick took a small step forward, calling out his lover’s name. It was Rick’s turn to freeze when Daryl turned his icy glare onto him. Rick swallowed the lump in his throat and took a tentative step forward. Daryl was pissed, that much was clear, but about what, Rick had no idea._

_“Daryl” Rick said just above a whisper._

_Daryl just glared at him some more and snarled at him. He actually fucking snarled at Rick and Rick was at a loss of what to do. For the life of him, Rick couldn’t figure out what he did wrong to upset the other boy so badly._

_“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for like a week. Is everything okay?” Rick asked, coming closer to the angry teen._

_Daryl grunted his response, but continued to stare Rick down. Now, though, Rick could see the faint markings of a black eye and he had to wonder what other injuries his lover had._

_“I’m in town for mom’s birthday I figured you could have dinner and cake with us.” Rick offered._

_“No” Came Daryl’s quick and clipped response._

_Rick pulled his brows together in confusion. Why was he acting this way? What could he have done to make Daryl so mad at him?_

_“I’ve tried calling you every night this week. I’m sorry if it seems like i'm not making an effort to keep in touch, but school and PT are a lot harder than I thought. I’m getting my ass kicked over there.” Rick said, trying to come up with a reason as to why Daryl would be mad._

_“I know” Daryl said, finally moving forward toward Rick. “I’ve just been ignoring ya, surprised ya ain’t figured that out by now” Daryl said, his tone still clipped and guarded._

_Rick’s brows fused together as a look of hurt crossed his face._

_“Wh-What?” Rick stuttered out._

_“You heard me, Grimes. Look as fun as this was, and as much as I love having my dick sucked on the regular we are done.” Daryl spat out._

_Rick’s face crumbled and tears of panic immediately filled his eyes._

_“The fuck Daryl?” He questioned._

_“You heard me! Look, i know you were really into us or whatever, but you were nothing but a warm mouth to me and we are done... over! You got it?”_

_“Seriously, Daryl!” Rick nearly shouted “This isn’t you! Talk to me, tell me what happened. Please don’t do this, okay. Whatever happened isn’t worth losing us over, okay? Just talk to me, alright? How did you get that black eye, Daryl? Let's take a walk and see if we can work this out...please!” Rick spit out all at once in a panic._

_He refused to let go without a fight. Daryl was the one and even though Daryl’s words stung so deeply, Rick wasn’t going to give up. With fat tears rolling down his cheeks, he pleaded with Daryl to just stop and let him in again. The archer's wall was up again which meant something bad had to happen to him._

_“Rickn” Daryl said his voice cracking with an emotion Rick couldn't identify. “Just go home and forget all about me,” Daryl said, turning on his heel and focusing his attention back on the Firdbird._

_“No” Rick half shouted, half sobbed. “You don’t get to just decide like that. You can’t just drop me like that, not without some sort of explanation!” Rick said, nearly falling over himself to get to where Daryl stood at the hood of the car._

_“Grimes, you done heard me!” Daryl said, slamming his fist down._

_Rick jumped at the sound of Daryl’s fist coming down on the metal. He knew he was pushing his lover beyond his limits, but he couldn’t go back to Atlanta knowing something or someone was hurting Daryl so badly that he had to break up with him. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself._

_“Daryl!” Rick pleaded. “Whatever is going on we can work it out, I promise. Don’t do this,” He added angrily, swiping at the tears running down his face._

_“Rick,” Daryl said dangerously low. A tone Rick knew Daryl had, but one his friend never used on him. “I done told you-- we’re done. I don’t want you no more!” the other teen nearly shouted._

_“You ain’t nothing but a dirty,nasty faggot and a good for nothing pig, and I don’t want anything to do with you!” Daryl yelled._

_A set of fresh hot tears made their way down Rick’s face and dripped off his chin at Daryl’s hurtful words._

_“No, leave,” Daryl growled, voice dangerous and low._

_Rick just blinked rapidly to clear his vision before taking a few steps backwards, away from Daryl. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed hard, but he nodded at Daryl’s words._

_“You’re my everything,Daryl Dixon.” Rick whispered before turning on his heels and running off before he started to sob. ___

__“You’re right, Maggie” Rick said, rubbing a hand over his face._ _

__“Just promise me you’ll hear him out, okay?” Maggie pleaded, her hands resting on top of her swollen, pregnant belly._ _

__Rick smiled over at her, grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze._ _

__“I promise, it's been too long not to hear him out.” Rick responded._ _

__Maggie smiled brightly at him, squeezing his hand in return._ _

__“You gonna be okay until dinner time?” Maggie asked._ _

__Rick let out a low chuckle in response “Probably not, but I’ll stay busy until then, don’t you worry.”_ _

__“You know where to find me if ya need me” Maggie said, struggling to her feet._ _

__Rick and Carl also went on the afternoon ride. Carl went on the cantering ride which was led by Daryl this time, and Rick went on the trot/walk ride with Glenn leading their way. The afternoon ride was just as relaxing as the morning ride. Rick really enjoyed talking with Glenn and found that he really liked the younger man. He was happy Maggie had ended up with someone so great, considering her high school boyfriend was a jackass._ _

__After the afternoon ride Carl had wanted to go down the lake again. This time, though, Rick wore his swim trunks, looking forward to a nice swim or a nice relaxing trip in the kaykas with Carl. After bribing Carl with sweets, he managed to get him in the kayak. Being with Carl made him feel at peace and helped him forget about later tonight, but he realized they also lost track of time._ _

__When the 30 minute warning for the dinner bell rang out, it took both Grimes by surprise. Instead of taking the time to dry off, the boys just pulled on their shoes and started down the path toward their cabin. As the pair reached the front of the path by the horses, Carl slowed to reach through the fence to pet the snout of the one horse._ _

__“Dad, how come no one rode this one today?” Carl asked, looking up at Rick._ _

__“He hurt his back” Daryl said from behind the pair._ _

__Daryl’s eyes were glued to Rick’s bare chest. The moisture clung to his exposed skin and the look in Daryl’s eyes said he wanted nothing more than to lick the water off Rick’s body. At the same time Rick was busy studying the curvature of Daryl’s impressive biceps. They were darkened by the sun and shone with sweat and Rick wanted to lap up that salty sweat with his tongue._ _

__“He’s going to be okay though, right?” Carl asked worriedly._ _

__Daryl’s eyes snapped away from Rick and Rick cleared his dry throat. Fuck! Daryl was even more attractive in his late 30’s than he was when he was 18. He was solid and strong and everything Rick knew he’d grow up to be. He felt the sudden urge to throw Daryl onto the ground and kiss the life out of him._ _

__“He’s gonna be just fine, kid” Daryl answered moving another horse along into the pen._ _

__“I’m not a kid,” Carl grumbled._ _

__Rick chuckled and placed his hands on his son’s shoulders._ _

__“Yeah, well looks to me like ya are,” Daryl said, moving the horse gracefully around Rick and Carl._ _

__“Well I’m not,” Carl said crossing his arms over his chest._ _

__“Tell you what, you beat me in arm wrestling then you can be a man. How about that?” Daryl said, bending down to be on Carl’s level._ _

__Carl studied Daryl and then smiled brightly at him. Rick’s face also broke out in a smile. Daryl was so good with him and he didn’t even know it. It made his chest warm and his heart happy to watch the two interact._ _

__“You got yourself a deal Daryl,” Carl said, holdin out his small, pale hand for Darly to shake._ _

__Daryl smirked and shook Carl’s outstretched hand. He then glanced in Rick’s direction and Rick felt the blush creep up on his cheeks. He was really blushing! Daryl’s lips twitched upwards and Daryl shook his head. Of course Daryl would notice his blush. Daryl noticed everything._ _

__“See you at dinner, Daryl” Rick said giving him a shy smile._ _

__Daryl cleared his throat and nodded his head in response._ _

__Dinner was mashed potatoes, meatloaf, green beans, and corn._ _

__“Carol made the meatloaf, so everybody get ready for your taste buds to explode,” Maggie said, strapping Joanne into her high chair._ _

__“You guys are in for a treat” Glenn said, sitting on the other side of his daughter._ _

__Dinner was uneventful. Rick and Carl really enjoyed the meatloaf and Carl even had seconds. He chatted more with Glenn and Hershel, who decided to sit with them tonight. Just as dinner was about to end, Daryl and one of the other ranch hands came in. Each man was covered in dusty and drying mud. Daryl had never looked so good in Rick’s eyes. A dirty Daryl Dixon was one of Rick’s favorite looks._ _

__When they were younger, Rick’s teenage hormones loved when Daryl’s form emerged from the woods with his crossbow slung over his shoulder, dragging his catch was for the day, and covered in dirt, sweat, and blood. It turned him on so much and seeing Daryl all sweaty and dirty was making him feel things he hadn’t felt in awhile._ _

__“Hey,” Daryl said, approaching the table._ _

__“Hey, how was that new horse daddy brought in. he give y'all any trouble?” Maggie questioned right away._ _

__“just kicking up dust is all,” came Daryl’s reply._ _

__“Rick?” Daryl questioned, turning his gaze onto the younger man. “I’m gonna hit the showers and then we can grab some beers and head down to the lake, sound good?”_ _

__Rick nodded, “Sure,” Rick said, licking his dry lips._ _

__“Carl, while your dad talks with Daryl, would you like to come see Sophia’s comic books?” Carol asked._ _

__Carl nodded excitedly and Rick gave Carol a thankful look._ _

__*********************************_ _

__Daryl’s nerves were all over the place. He couldn’t believe he was about to tell Rick Grimes the truth about what happened all those years ago. He couldn’t believe he was being given the chance to do so, either. He was doing fine for the better half of the morning, but it wasn’t until he saw Rick standing shirtless near the horse pen that his thoughts really started focusing on the other man._ _

__Seeing Rick’s glistening chest did things to Daryl that no one else could. His stomach dropped, his heart raced, and his cock gave a slight twitch. It was in that moment, though, that Daryl realized that he fucked things up so badly between them. Rick could have been his all these years._ _

__He could have been there when he got shot. He could have sat and worried over him. Could have been taking care of his every need and making sure he got back on his feet with no problem. Daryl realized he could have been holding the other man at night when the nightmares came, so he could chase them away before they got too bad. But instead, he had hurt the kindest, most gentle --but fierce-- man he’d ever met._ _

__Finally, but finally, Daryl was going to have a chance to explain to Rick what had happened all those years ago. He could only hope that Rick wouldn’t hate too much afterwards. Rick deserved to know the truth and that was what Daryl was going to give him. Every gory and heartbreaking detail. He remembered those details like it was yesterday. They ran through his head every night, haunting him._ _

__Daryl rushed through his shower and skipped his after-work smoke to go look for Rick. He had to find him and tell him while he still had his nerve. After pulling on his boots over his clean socks, Daryl set off toward the mess hall and the cabins. Rick had said he’d meet him over there when Daryl was ready. Daryl used his walk over for his smoke break. He was trying to quit and it was a lot easier than he thought it would be, but right now he needed something to calm his nerves._ _

__Approaching the clearing behind the cabins, Daryl froze in his tracks. One word tore through his mind-THIGHS!. Rick was squatting, pitcher’s mit in front of his face counting off pitches to Carl. His thighs bunched under his tight jeans and Daryl’s mouth started to water. He wanted to bite, lick, and nuzzle those thighs. After all these years,Rick’s ‘baseball thighs’ never looked better._ _

__The thwack of the ball hitting Rick’s mit broke Daryl out his trance and he started moving again._ _

__“Hey Daryl!” Carl waved. “Watch my fastball!” He said excitedly, taking his stance._ _

__Rick didn’t dare look away from Carl, but from where he stood, Daryl could see the smile forming on Rick’s face. The ball whizzed past Daryl at an impressive speed for a ten year old and into Rick’s mitt._ _

__“Almost as good as your old man,” Daryl said, striding toward the pair._ _

__“Wow! Really?! My dad was an awesome pitcher. He’s been teaching me and practicing with me”_ _

__“It really shows. You looked just like him out there kid,” Daryl said, no knowing what else to say._ _

__Carl huffed at the nickname, but couldn’t seem to wipe the grin off his face._ _

__‘Alright kiddo, why don’t you go find Carol and Sophia and I'll come get you when i’m done talking to Daryl,” Rick suggested, reaching for Carl’s baseball gear._ _

__“Dad! Seriously! I’m not a kid anymore!” Carl said, pushing his mitt roughly into Rick’s hand._ _

__“Carl” Rick warned, his voice low and authoritative._ _

__The tone of Rick’s voice did things to Daryl that he didn’t want to think about right now. Carl quickly apologized and stalked off in the other direction toward the house. Daryl cleared his throat and headed towards the wooded trails across the street. Rick tossed the baseball gear toward the front of their cabin and followed Daryl into the woods. The walk was quiet and almost awkward, but once they reached the mini-creek the horse had to cross on their trail rides, Daryl stopped. His thumb immediately went to his mouth so he could bite at the cuticle._ _

__“I know why you wanted to talk,” Daryl said around his thumb._ _

__“We don’t have to do it right now if you’re not comfortable,” Rick said, trying to hold eye contact with the archer._ _

__Of course Rick had to be so caring and thoughtful. Rick always did put Daryl’s feelings before his own and not much had changed about that. Now though, Daryl felt like even more of an asshole._ _

__“Nah, i’m never gonna be comfortable with it, so mise well get it over with,” Daryl replied._ _

__“What changed for you? All those years ago, I mean” Rick asked._ _

__Daryl took a deep breath and started to pace. Fuck, he was so screwed, Rick was never going to forgive him for this. Hell, Daryl still hated himself for it, and probably always would._ _

__“Nothing changed for me. You gotta know all them years ago my feelings for you never changed,” Daryl explained, the words seeming to rush out of his mouth._ _

__Daryl had this conversation a million times in his head, but nothing compared to standing directly in front of Rick Grimes and pouring his heart out-vocalizing Every little fear and confessing his weaknesses. He was going to need a drink after this because Daryl knew what question was coming next._ _

__“Then why?” Rick almost whispered. “Why did you tear my heart out and stomp on it? Why did you ignore me all those months after? Why did you tell me we’d always be together when you left me?” Rick questioned, his pitch rising like he was trying desperately to keep it together._ _

__Daryl ran a hand through his hair and started to pace. This was it, this would probably be the last time he saw Rick. Once he confessed, it was over. Rick was going to be so mad that he wouldn’t want to talk to him. Bringing his thumb up to his mouth to bite at his cuticle, he thought, Here goes nothing._ _

__“So you know Merle got out of jail right around the time you left for the academy” Daryl started off._ _

__“Yea he took us out and got us drunk at that little bar in the middle of nowhere.” Rick confirmed._ _

__“Yea, so it was bout a week fore you came to see me and Merle talked me into going with him and his buddies to that same bar. I figured why not, the gang was busy and I missed ya, so i went with them,” Daryl went on, pacing as he spoke._ _

__“It's just any other night out with Merle, ya know, but his buddies were itching for a fight, probably too high to think straight anyway. But anyway, the lot of us were out in the parking lot smoking when that gay kid from the next town over came strolling on by. You remember him? Had that crazy curly hair?” Daryl asked._ _

__Rick nodded, folding his arms across his chest. “Yeah, Aaron or something like that.”_ _

__“Yeah, Aaron. Well he comes walking by and my brother and his buddies start in on him. Callin’ him things like fag, queer, and all this horrible shit I don’t want to repeat.” Daryl paused his pacing and took a look at Rick, only to find the officer watching him closely._ _

__“Then this one asshole punched Aaron and that started things off, Merle and his buddies started whaling on him and I just stood back and let it happen. Finally, someone else walked by and started to throw a fit, threatened to call the cops, so we took off.”_ _

__Daryl stopped pacing and bowed his head in shame._ _

__“They almost beat him to death and I stood there and let it happen because I was too much of a coward. On our way home we saw the ambulance rushing toward the bar. That's when I knew I couldn’t let that happen to you.”_ _

__Rick was silent, his face was grim and not to pleased, but Daryl went on._ _

__“The next day I went to see Aaron in the hospital. He was beat up real bad, but he was gonna be okay. I told him about you and us and how much of a good for nothing coward I am and he forgave me, but that's when I knew I was no good for you.” Daryl said, swallowing the lump in his throat._ _

__“I couldn’t take you getting hurt like that so I had to end it. You deserve someone who’s not afraid to hold your hand in public without the fear of his old man and brother finding out. I just couldn’t watch you go through that type of treatment Aaron did because of me. So I took care of it. Stopped talking to ya, even though it damn near killed me, and spent my time working on that damn FireBird and anything else i could my hands on to keep me mind from wandering to you. But ya know that didn't’ work out so well,” Daryl finally finished, finding that he couldn’t meet Rick’s eyes._ _

__Rick was silent for what felt like a lifetime, which made the burning sensation of tears in Daryl’s eyes worse. He didn’t deserve to cry, not now._ _

__“So you just thought it was best to leave me hanging?” Rick asked, his voice so thick with emotion that Daryl had to look up._ _

__When Daryl’s eyes met Rick’s, his tears finally spilled over, accompanying the tears already rolling down the other man's face._ _

__“Daryl, I would have rather been physically beaten than what you put me through” Rick confessed, wiping at his tear-stained cheeks. “It would have hurt less”_ _

__Rick’s words were like a blow to Daryl’s chest. He inhaled sharply, trying desperately to keep it together._ _

__“ ‘m sorry” Daryl mumbled._ _

__“That’s it?!” Rick nearly shouted. “That’s all you have to say?!” Rick huffed, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks._ _

__So many emotions ran through Daryl’s body that he couldn’t even form words to answer Rick. Of course he had more to say, he was prepared to beg Rick for his forgiveness, but for some reason he couldn’t get his mouth to work right. Instead, he just shrugged. Rick huffed at him and shook his head._ _

__

__“Unbelievable,” He said, sounding really disappointed. But before Daryl had the chance to reply, Rick was turning on his heel and he was walking away._ _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Sorry again for the long long long wait! Real life just seems to sneak up on me. Anyway thank you all for sticking with me on this! It really means a lot to me!

Rick knew he was probably overreacting but damn was he hurt. Daryl probably thought he was pissed off but Rick was more hurt. Hurt that Daryl didn’t have enough faith in their relationship to work through this thing together. Hurt that Daryl couldn’t trust him enough to open up about his fears, hurt that Daryl thought he had to suffer alone. 

Watching the way Daryl’s eyes clouded over with emotions and regret had hurt Rick the most. Daryl had always been the strongest person Rick knew and watching him suffer like that really did a number on him. He couldn’t think about how the hunter handled his emotions back then because that thought was nearly enough to bring Rick to his knees. Why had his Daryl think he had to suffer in silence? 

Along with that hurt though came anger because, who did Daryl think he was? Making decisions like that for him. Just thinking he could end a relationship because he was scared. Rick was capable of making up his own mind. He was also capable of taking care of himself, he didn’t need Daryl deciding for him what was to dangerous and what wasn’t. Although Rick could see were Daryl was coming from because given the chance if roles were reversed he may have done the same thing.

On his walk Rick knew he would have to find the hunter and apologize for blowing up so suddenly and letting his anger get the best of him but right now Rick needed a moment away from his hunter. Seeing Daryl so open and vulnerable was doing and making him feel strange things and fogging up his brain. Rick wanted a clear head the next time he spoke to Daryl. He wanted to be able to explain to Daryl why he was so hurt and angry cleary, and without the urge to pull Daryl into his arms and never let him go.

“Dad!” Carl shouted, the moment Rick returned a big smile on his face. 

Rick smiled, schooling his emotions for his sons sake. 

 

“Hey bud, you have fun with Sophia and Carol?” Rick asked, reaching down to ruffle his sons hair.

“Sophia has like a thousand comic books, she said i could borrow some” Carl said, bouncing around Rick. 

“But Dad guess what!?” Carl asked, nearly jumping off the ground in excitement.

“What buddy?” Rick asked looking down at Carl, who was beaming up at him.

“There is a bonfire tonight!” Carl said, nearly jumping out of his skin with joy.

“You know what that means right?” Rick asked with a smirk.

Carl looked up at him and the look of pure joy made Rick’s anger and hurt completely disappear.

“Smores!!” The pair said at the same time, grinning and laughing.

Even with what had happened with Daryl weighing heavy on his mind, Rick still managed to have some fun at the bonfire. Rick had somehow became the go to smore man. Every small child had asked Rick to help them with their graham crackers and chocolate. Rick didn’t mind and smiled brightly at the kids, especially when they were tasting their sugary treat for the first time. It brought a smile to his face, one that wasn’t forced.

After the smores, things seemed to settle down. He drank his beer and talked with Glenn, Maggie Hershel, and Carol while Carl, Sophia and they other children played along the bonfire light. 

“Why don’t you go check on Daryl now” Carol said, out of left field.

“Why would I do that?” Rick asked.

“Well because, you said you’d talk with him, and now you’re here and he’s not” Carol said, nudging his shoulder gently.

“Yea, we aren’t blind Rick. We can see that you’re worried.” Maggie chimed in. “We’ll keep an eye on Carl for ya” She offered. 

Rick bite his lip for a minute thinking over his options. The better option was to go find Daryl and apologize. The sooner Rick cleared the air the better. He missed Daryl in ways he didn’t think were possible anymore, and having him so close but not being able to speak was unbearable. 

“Yea ok” Rick said. 

*****************

Daryl knew he screwed up for good when Rick walked away pissed. Seeing Rick walk away with tears burning his eyes and a dark angry expression in his face brought up some painful memories that brought Daryl to his knees. He thought he’d never have to see that expression on Rick’s face again, but he was wrong. 

Daryl stayed on his knees for a good while willing his heart to stop breaking and his tears to stop. He was full out sobbing but whenever he thought he had a hold of himself Daryl would picture Rick’s face, the young version and the present version, and a new set of tears would start. Breaking Rick’s heart was hard enough the first time around.  
When Rick was walking away he wanted to shout at him, begging him for forgiveness. Daryl was only trying to do the right thing all them years ago. Watching that kid get beat half to death wasn’t something Daryl was worried about for himself. It was Rick who he feared for. The image of Rick beaten like that had pushed Daryl fears into overdrive and his 18 year old self made a hasty decision about the other boys safety and stuck with it. It had hurt Daryl just as much that afternoon as it does now.

When Daryl was done breaking down he dragged himself back to his cabin and showered. Hoping to rinse all the hurt away along with the dust that clung to his skin. After his shower Daryl ate a flavorless dinner. His stomach was still unsettled with how upset he had been earlier but he had to eat something after being out in the sun all day and working hard in the barns.

Once the sun had completely set Daryl stepped out onto his small porch taking in a breath of fresh air. The air smelled like smoke and Daryl knew he was missing a bonfire, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Rick would be there and he didn’t want to upset the man even more. So Daryl lit his cigarette and let the nicotine calm his nerves some while thinking of ways to avoid Rick.

Maybe he could tell Hershel he wasn’t feeling well the rest of the weekend so Rick and Carl could enjoy the rest of their time at the ranch in piece. Or Daryl could just simply ask Glenn to do the trot/walk trail rides so he wouldn’t have to be stuck being the guide for Rick’s ride. Either way Daryl had to figure it out before tomorrow. 

Daryl was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the footsteps approaching. Didn’t hear when someone cleared their throat to get his attention. His name being called nearly had Daryl jumping out of his own skin.

“Oh wow! I must be getting good, or you were totally lost if i could sneak up on you” Rick said, with a little chuckle to his voice. 

Daryl cleared the emarabassment out of his throat and studied Rick, who was moving slowly toward the porch. Rick didn’t look mad anymore. In fact he looked almost calm. 

“Was lost in thought I guess” Came Daryl’s gruff reply. 

“What...What- ugh -What were you thinking about?” Rick asked, still moving closer.

Daryl took a drag of his smoke exhaling the smoke in a cloud around him, “How to avoid you” Daryl answered honestly.

“What?” Rick asked, coming to a stop and sounding really confused.

“How to avoid you, figured you’d want to enjoy the last of your trip.” Daryl said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“What? Daryl, that’s….no...that’s not at all what I want” Rick stuttered out. 

Daryl took another drag of his cigarette and let the smoke bellow out around his head as he tracked Rick’s fidgeting with his eyes. Rick was nervous and Daryl wasn’t sure why. If anyone should be nervous it should be him. With the way Rick lost it on him earlier. 

“I was coming out here to apologize Daryl” Rick finally said, cocking his hip out and rubbing at the back of his head. 

“The way I acted wasn’t right, I shouldn’t have acted that way, It was just after all these years I finally got the answers i was looking for…” Rick trailed off while pinching the bridge of his nose.

“And?” Daryl said, standing from his chair. 

Rick opened his eyes and shook his head. His eyes softening just at the sight of Daryl. 

“I finally got the answers I was looking for and while at the time it makes me so mad that you think you can make those types of choices for me but the more i think about it the more i realize it was just because you loved me and you were trying to protect me and you know what Daryl?” Rick asked taking a long step toward Daryl. 

“I would have done the same thing for you” Rick said barely above a whisper, bringing his hands down on Daryl’s shoulders to give them a good natured squeeze. “And I would still do something like that for you, even after all this time….because I still….”

Rick’s words were cut off by Daryl who surged forward and yanked Rick right up into his space by the collar of his shirt. Daryl’s eyes searched Rick’s blue eyes for any hint of a lie but the more Daryl looked into his eyes and the more Rick’s scent was burning in his nose making Daryl weak in the knees. Everything about Rick made Daryl do things and think things he wouldn’t normally do. Like how blue his eyes were, or how goddamn beautiful he looked or the way he grabbed onto Rick and pulled him into his space, just so Daryl could say he was close to Rick again, even if it was only for a minute.

“You still what Grimes?” Daryl nearly sneered. 

Daryl watched Rick swallow hard enough to make his adam's apple bob and lick his dry lips, which Daryl couldn’t stop himself from tracking the movement with his eyes, before looking him right in the eyes preparing himself for whatever was about to come out of Rick’s mouth. Suddenly Rick shoved Daryl off of him and sighed. While pinching the bridge of his nose Rick began to pace and Daryl almost started to laugh. Rick was acting like him.  
“Fuck Daryl” Rick said, still pacing running a head through his curls.

Finally Rick stopped pacing and turned to look at him, Rick’s eyes seemed to soften again but he looked tense and nervous.

“I still love you Daryl….I don’t think I ever got over you….there hasn’t been a day that hasn’t gone by in the past 20 years that I haven’t thought about you. The only part about my marriage I don’t regret is Carl...and now that I have you I don’t want to let you go...I can’t let you go...not now...not after all this time.” Rick said breathless, almost panting. 

Daryl just stood there stunned into silence. Was Rick serious? There was no way that Daryl was about to get everything he wanted in life back. It almost seemed to easy for a Dixon. Yeah Rick was all he wanted in life and Rick just poured his heart out to him. Daryl’s heart pounded in his chest as he watched Rick who was watching him.

Rick’s blue eyes, his scruffy face, his rumpled and dusty clothes and the way his lips parted as he panted out nervously screamed home to Daryl. Everything about Rick was home. Sure he loved living on the ranch and loved the way his secluded cabin felt cozy but it always felt like something was missing, like he was missing a piece of his home. 

Staring into Rick’s eyes the missing pieces started to click back together. One by one, Daryl’s home and his heart where mending back together. Daryl fought back the emotions he was feeling, unable to even give them a voice. So Daryl did the only thing he could think of to let Rick know that yes, he was feeling the same way about him. Daryl took one giant step forward, grabbing on to Rick’s flannel shirt and halling him close. So close that Daryl could feel Rick’s breath ghost over his face.

“Fuck you, Grimes” Daryl growled.

With one last grunt Daryl pulled Rick the rest of the way to him and landed his lips right on Rick’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I live for your comments! Let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank everyone for reading! I hope y'all are sticking with me even though I suck at posting in a timely manner. As always your comments are what I live for!
> 
> P.s A huge thank you to marooncamaro to betaing for me!! Love you!

Rick’s mouth dropped open in shock as Daryl’s tongue worked its way into his mouth. It took Rick all of seconds to realize what was happening, that Daryl was kissing him. Daryl’s lips were warm and soft against his own and his tongue was wet and eager. Rick moaned against Daryl’s lips and clutched Daryl’s shirt tightly, letting his tongue battle with Daryl’s.

This kiss was messy, desperate, urgent, and a battle of tongues with too much teeth, but it was perfect. It was like watching the sun set, or taking your boots off after a long day on your feet. It made Rick sigh in relief. In the first time in nearly 20 years his heart finally felt calm and at peace.

The moan Daryl released into Rick’s mouth made him smile against Daryl’s lips. Daryl huffed out a breath against Rick’s lips before trailing kissing down Rick’s neck. Rick whimpered and slid an arm around Daryl’s, back pulling him flush against him. Rick could feel Daryl’s hardness pressing into his thigh and he groaned at his own hardening member. 

Daryl’s lips felt like heaven on his skin, having Daryl so close and desperate from him made Rick feel wanted again. Like he was the only person Daryl wanted and it was stirring up a want Rick hadn’t felt since the last time he had felt Daryl’s lips on his neck. 

_“What time do you plan of leaving school?” The 19 year old Daryl asked into the phone._

_“P.T. gets out of noon so probably around 12:30,” Rick answered back._

_“How’s school and P.T. going by the way?”_

_“Good, I guess. I’m just tired all the time, and I miss home, and I miss you,” Rick admitted._

_“Hey! none of that. You’ll be home this weekend, we’ll spend the weekend together and I’ll even let you use me as a pillow, huh?” Daryl said._

_“I think i’d like that,” Rick answered._

_“Rick.”_

_“Daryl,” Rick whispered._

_“I really miss you, Rick,” Daryl whispered._

_‘Fuck,” Daryl cussed as a loud bang echoed through the other end of the phone._

_“Daryl?” Rick questioned, concern lacing his voice._

_“I’m fine,” came Daryl’s immediate response._

_“Fuck, Daryl I really fucking hate being away from you.”_

_“I know, me too,” Daryl replied. “Look Rick I gotta go, I’ll see you tomorrow, I get off of work at 4 so I’ll swing by after that,”_

_“Okay love you Dare.”_

_“Love ya too Grimes, get some sleep.”_

_The two young lovers had seemed to defy all odds and somehow managed to stay together even though people like Rick’s mom and Shane had said things like “Two years is a long time to be away, things change over time” or “Man this is gonna be awesome, there are going to be a lot of girls to pick from”._

_The two teens seemed to make it work though. Rick was chugging along at school, keeping his grades up while Daryl kept his head low and out of the way of his mean old daddy while working in Dale’s garage. With one year down and only 6 more weeks left, it seemed like there was a light at the end of the tunnel._

_When Rick got home around three on Friday afternoon there was a note from his parents saying they'd be home later that night with twenty dollars for a pizza. Rick smiled. Pizza was Daryl's favorite and it was nice of his mom and dad to think of Daryl._

_Taking the steps two at a time Rick made it into his room and the shower in record time. He had 30 minutes before Daryl arrived and he wanted to clean in all the right places. In a fresh clean black T-shirt and a pair of gray basketball shorts Rick went back down stairs, before he could do anything though the purr of Daryl’s motorcycle rumbled down the street._

_A smile stretched across Rick’s face as he moved to the front door. He waited behind the closed door until Daryl pulled into the driveway. He didn't want to seem to eager but he couldn’t control the flutter of his heart as Daryl came closer. He looked so good, with his cut off sleeveless shirt and his winged vest, and the sweat and grease that clung to his bulging biceps. God, was he sexy. Rick pushed the door open leaning his hip against the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Daryl walk the rest of the way up the steps._

_Daryl’s gaze never left Rick’s and when he past the younger teen to get in the house he smirked. Rick quickly shut and locked the door behind Daryl._

_“You been waiting for me Rick?” Daryl questioned, moving deeper into the house._

_“I’ve been waiting for you the moment I pulled into town,” Rick replied._

_Daryl just raised an eyebrow at Rick who smiled while grabbing him by the vest and hauling their mouths together in a searing kiss. When the lovers broke apart they were both panting._

_“Fuck, Rick. Missed ya,” Daryl huffed, trailing kisses down Rick’s neck._

_Rick moaned and fisted at Daryl’s shirt right above his belt buckle. “I missed you too,” he whimpered when Daryl sunk his teeth into the sensitive skin of above his collar bone._

_Rick’s hand tighten in the martieral of Daryl’s shirt and he pulled Daryl’s body flush against his own. Rick was achingly hard, he was hard the second he saw Daryl pull up to the house. He surged his hips forward rubbing his hard cock against Daryl’s hip. Daryl moan and sucked on Rick’s neck a little hard, his hand fisting in Rick’s curls._

_“Daryl…” Rick moaned, begging for Daryl to do something._

_“I know baby,” Daryl replied, moving in to kiss Rick’s swollen lips again._

_Daryl’s hands danced under Rick’s T-shirt in a teasing manner but he didn’t make Rick wait long before he pushed the thin fabric up over Rick’s head. Rick whimpered at the separation until he could latch his lips back on to Daryl’s lips. Daryl rolled his hips into Rick’s and continued to kiss down Rick’s exposed neck. Rick’s hands tangled in Daryl’s hair and pulled harshly._

_“Please!” Rick demanded, searching Daryl’s face as he licked his lips and bucked his hips into Daryl’s._

_“Sshh,” Daryl soothed, planting a kiss on his forehead. “I got you.”_

_Rick grabbed for Daryl’s clothes but Daryl stepped out of reach before sinking to his knees in front of the other teen. Rick groaned and tangled his fingers in Daryl’s soft locks. Rick stroked gently through Daryl’s hair a few times before gripping tight and pulling Daryl’s mouth toward Rick’s front._

_Daryl mouthed at Rick’s covered cock, creating a wet patch around the head. Daryl inhaled deeply through his nose, loving the way Rick smelled. Daryl groaned, digging his fingers into the waistband of Rick’s briefs. Without warning Daryl yanked Rick’s briefs down and hummed approvingly at the sight before him. Rick’s cock stood proudly, angling up toward his belly full and red. The head almost looking purple with smears of pre-cum making it glistening in the light of the living room._

_“Daryl," Rick whimpered._

_“I got you baby,” Daryl whispered, pressing kisses into each hip._

_Rick whimpered and moaned when Daryl took his entire length down his throat. Daryl swallowed around his length, humming around Rick's manhood._

_“Fuck yea, Daryl,” Rick moaned, his fingers tightening in Daryl’s hair._

_Rick held Daryl’s hair tightly trying to hold off his orgasm off but being away from Daryl so long had its effects on his body. Rick moaned loudly when Daryl’s other hand reached around and his finger danced over Rick’s over sensitive hole. Unable to stop himself he bucked his hips forward into Daryl’s wet heat. Rick moaned again as Daryl encouraged Rick to keep fucking his mouth as the younger boy chased Rick’s pleasured._

_Rick’s orgasm came quickly and it shook him to core, but Daryl held Rick tightly through it while he swallowed everything Rick had to offer. When Rick was finally finished and he could breathe properly, he dropped to the floor with Daryl and buried his face in his lover’s neck._

_“Sorry baby,” Rick muttered, pressing small kisses to the side of Daryl’s neck. “I just really fucking missed you,” Rick sighed._

_Daryl chuckled against Rick, wrapping his arm around the other boy tightly._

_“It’s okay” Daryl said, pressing a gentle kiss to Rick’s temple._

The memory only spurred Daryl on more, as he pressed his body against Rick’s with everything he had. Rick huffed against his lips but smiled pulling Rick tight against his body. The feeling of Rick pressed up against him again was unlike anything he’d ever felt. When he ended things with Rick he thought he would never feel anything like this ever again. 

While work, helping his brother get back on his feet, and Jesus had kept Daryl busy, they never seemed to be able to keep him happy, like Rick did. With a happy sigh Daryl pressed slightly on Rick’s chest. Rick hummed against his lips but took a step back after a few more kisses.

“As much as I love this,” Daryl said, resting his forehead against Rick’s, looking deeply into his baby blues. “We gotta take it slow,” Dary explained. 

Rick nodded, but took a step back. “There is someone else isn’t there?” Rick asked.

“In a way, yes,” Daryl said smoothing out his clothes. “I’ve pretty much been dating the same person on and off for a few years now and right now we are off but we’ve been talking about getting back together again, but before anything happens between us Rick, I need to break the news to Paul,” Daryl said reaching for Rick’s hand.

“Paul’s a good decent guy who is nothing but good to me, but he’s gotta know the truth. It's always been you Rick, no matter how much time has passed, or how well Paul is to me, it’s always gonna be you Rick.” Daryl said proving his point with a kiss. 

Rick smiled against his lips and nodded. “I couldn’t agree more.”


End file.
